The "So What" Election

I have a theory.

As media outlets desperately try to find an interesting through-line for the final days of the presidential campaign, as pollsters pore over battleground state results searching for any signs of unforeseen movement, as the proverbial fat lady does trills backstage, I've wondered myself if there was anything more to say about this seemingly over election. How many different ways can those of us paying attention to the same developments write about said developments interestingly? All anyone wants to know at this point is, "How will it end?"

Today's NY Post warned that the protracted drama of 2000 could occur again. CNN posted a story about the five scenarios in which the election could end in an electoral college tie: 269-269. And, a psychic with a self-proclaimed on-going relationship with the long-dead Nostradamus, is trying to convince anyone who will listen that McCain will suffer a stroke this weekend, permanently incapacitating him, causing President Bush to suspend the election and rioters to flood the streets. Interesting diversions, each and every ridiculous one, but, as I said, I have a theory of my own - one I think might just give us a clue as to how this election's likely to turn out.

There are many cultural indicators of a nation's mood and temperament at any given moment in history. But, in the modern rock era, are any more or less valuable than the music we embrace? I know. It sounds ridiculous. But, stick with me for a moment. In order to become the #1 single, a song has to be played on average a minimum of 9000 times per week in total across the country - or about as often as an Obama campaign commercial in Ohio. And, in order for a song to be played that often, people have to like hearing it. Over and over again. Which means something about that song has to agree with the public consciousness or give voice to their feelings in the moments they sing along in their cars. Our music, despite its increasing diversity, is something (like "Dancing With the Stars") that bonds us. It says something about who, and where, we are. And, I think, it holds the key to this election's outcome.

At the time of the 2004 presidential election, the #1 song in the country was "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys. Consider these sample lyrics, in view of that year's choice between incumbent President Bush and rival John Kerry:

"There's always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause
you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby, you will always be my boo...
Even though we use to argue it's alright
but you will always be my boo."

See, despite the arguments, despite the "other man" who entered our lives that election year, the majority of Americans still felt a blind allegiance to the man who'd kept them safe. Bush was their boo. And they opted to keep him.

The #1 song this time around? "So What" by Pink - a post-divorce anthem of self-empowerment that, this week, accomplished what only a handful of songs in the rock era have done: surpassed 10,000 plays within a week's time. Consider these lyrics for this post-Bush election:

"I got a brand new attitude
And i'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
You weren't there
You never were
You want it all
But thats not fair
I gave you love
I gave my all
You weren't there
You let me fall
So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool."

Americans are divorcing Bush, the "tool." They're not happy about where they've been, but they've survived with their tongues firmly-in-cheek, convinced that they're going to be alright. How? The same way we all do when we leave a bad relationship behind. By not making the same mistake again.

My theory? In this "So What" election, Obama the "rock star" (as McCain's campaign once called him) is gonna put a boot in our boo's ass. And we're all gonna be just fine, singing along at the top of our lungs.